Music is such an individualised taste. My own tastes are to say the least catholic, ranging from Gregorian chant to heavy rock, though my bank balance has tended to receive the most damage from country–rockers and folk rockers. The genres, too, are slippery: my iTunes account assures me Leonard Cohen is country, whereas I would categorize him as folk. I have not found an adequate differentiation between the two, though I have tended to find ‘folk’ representing, loosely, a more left-wing life-perspective, and country perhaps more socially conservative, more ‘right’. As I write these words I am listening to ‘cow punk’ aficionado Maria McKee (best known for a song called “Show Me Heaven”).
I use recorded music a lot, not so much in the formal eucharistic liturgy in which we share Sunday by Sunday, but in the more flexible ‘pre-liturgical’ contexts of, for example, school chapel services. It comes with a warning, stated or unstated: for some hip-hop may be the apotheosis of human expression. For others the soaring heights of opera draw the heartstrings of heaven. As it happens I like neither of those genres, though some of the great operatic choruses stir my heart, and I consider “The Chorus of the Hebrew Slaves” (“Va, Pensiero”)from Verdi’s Nabucco one of the finest moments in music. The minimalist “Spiegel im Spiegel” of Arvo Pärt, which we will use for the Maundy Thursday liturgy, takes me into the heart of the stillness of God and touches eternity. By contrast my email address will provide a clue to another great source of inspiration that has nurtured my being for around forty years, now (and still does so).
Is faith, then, like music? A matter of taste, preference, choice? In a post-modern world we might say yes—and certainly we should acknowledge that there seems an inexplicable serendipity that separates those who share our faith (and in which form?) from those who do not. I am less inclined to say ‘yes’. There seems to me to be faith that up-builds, faith that trivialises, even faith that is darkly demonic. Our task is to be representatives of the first of these, but this comes only through a life-time of learning. I should be our prayer that we stumble along that learning path, Christ before to guide us. Pray God we may be bearers of up-build-faith, not trivialize-faith.
Michael
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Monday, 11 March 2013
Friday, 1 March 2013
Stumbling on, 34 years later
SERMON PREACHED AT THE CHURCH OF THE GOOD
SHEPHERD
FRED’S PASS (NORTHERN TERRITORY)
THIRD SUNDAY OF LENT (3rd March)
2013
Seek the Lord while he may be found, call upon him while he is near
(Isaiah 55.6)
Readings: Isaiah 55.1-9
Psalm
63.1-91 Corinthians 10.1-13
Luke 13.31-35
It occurred to me as I sat down to collect my thoughts around these readings that it is 34 years to the day since I leapt across what for me was a precipice and into the arms of the one I came to accept as Lord. These are not phrases or concepts I use often in my discourse these days. I constantly wrestle with the question whether that reticence is a compromise of my faith or a cringe response to the abuse of the concept by many followers of Jesus. Many, it seems to me, package Jesus as a plastic panacea to all life’s problems, a private inoculation against the fears of death and hell. To say even that is to reveal my jaundice, so let me put my cards on the table: there is much that is named Christianity that seems to me a million miles removed from the faith I first embraced that Saturday night 34 years ago.
Though many see the kind of faith that I espouse
these days as ‘liberal’, and though it would be as foreign to some with whom I
rubbed shoulders in my first months of faith as Evangelical and Pentecostal enthusiasm
is to me today, I have never ceased to thank the one who I encountered that day
as living Lord. I have never ceased to be grateful not only that I came to
faith, but that for me there was a
conversion, a time when I was not a believer, a yardstick by which I can
measure the one me with the other me. And – at this point I’m probably going to
fail Testimony Sharing 101 – there’s sometimes not a lot of difference. I was
arrogant, enthusiastic, opinionated and gauche then, and probably, to my
sorrow, still am. On the other hand there is an infinite difference. I was
alone and self-determining in an empty universe then. Now, though it sometimes
seems that way, I live in a different universe. The God who beckoned me across
the chasm to belief is the God who, as I often say, quoting Kendrick, flung stars
into space. Those same hands that received me then were hands that were once,
as Kendrick puts it, ‘to cruel nails surrendered’. I am not a swinging from the
rafters kind of Christian – perhaps that is a failure on my part – but I have
never lost the awe that was instilled in me that Saturday night 34 years ago as
I encountered, received, accepted the Lordship of a crucified Messiah, the
Messiah who wept then and weeps still over Jerusalem and all hate-torn humanity
This same Lord is the beckoning Lord of Isaiah.
As the first Christians tried to articulate their experience of the risen Lord
they turned again and again to the Hebrew scriptures, often to Isaiah. There
they found a suffering God, and hints of a Chosen Servant who would enter into
and transform human suffering into Easter hope. Some Christians use the
language of ransom, but I find it a limited concept. I find helpful instead
language of a Christ of God who invades our life at our most vulnerable points,
not least our own mortality, and transforms us into his likeness, transforms
our darkness into Easter Light. Despite a wobble or two along the way I have
never lost the sense of that Messiah and Lord continuing to journey with me and
encourage me – and while I can hardly claim to have been tested to the degree
of Paul and other early Christians I can mumble my ‘amen’ to Paul’s
proclamation ‘he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the
testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it’.
These days I know I was then no more than
another bumbling, faintly angry adolescent. At the time though I felt the DNA
of kiwi poet James K Baxter’s angry young man coursing through the cells of my
body:
Her son is moodier, has seen
An angel with a sword
Standing above the clump of old man manuka
Just
waiting for the word
To overturn the cities and the rivers
And
split the house like a rotten totara log …
The pre-conversion me was going to set about
ridding the world of religion – not just Christianity but religion and spirituality
in all its meaningless forms. He didn’t get far. Ironically though, it occurs
to me as I over and again encounter the hostility towards Christianity that
exists in many quarters and especially amongst many young people today,
ironically I am now increasingly living in the world I wanted to midwife back
in the mid-1970s. The pre-conversion me would have applauded the cynicism
directed towards Christianity in many quarters today. The pre-conversion me
would have celebrated with cynical delight each time some new scandal rocked
the Christian communities.
Now I don’t share that sense. I join Phillip
Aspinall and others in applauding Royal Commissions into sexual exploitation
and abuse in the Churches and other flawed communities. That must happen, and
any exposure we undergo we must interpret as a work of the cleansing, healing
spirit of God: we are called to be a community of integrity, not of darkness
and shame. Let the light shine. But where the Church, in all its forms, has
been a beacon of light, and sometimes despite its flaws it has, it has been genuinely
a foretaste of the Reign of God. I think of course of Nelson Mandela, Desmond
Tutu and others in the fight not only against apartheid but against hatred and
revenge. Has their dream been successful? As we watch videos of police
brutality in Johannesburg we know it is not even remotely a perfect rainbow
nation that has replaced the Old South Africa, but in a fallen world it will
ever be thus, and no nation is Utopia. But I know, too that the religionless
Utopias that I once dreamed of have failed too: as Christianity is increasingly
on the nose and is replaced by an emphasis on – on what? – I am not seeing
Utopia born, a better world, a fairer society. I am seeing continued if not
accelerated dysfunctionality, exploitation, loneliness, despair. And, however
unfashionable my God and my Christ might be I know I personally am far better
with him than without him.
So I am left to continue the task to which I was
commissioned not by my ordination but by my coming to faith 34 years ago: I am
challenged to know the Christ I encountered that day, and to know him
passionately, deeply, despite the many, if not most days when I forget that
commission and call. I am called to model the Christ I encountered that day,
though I will always fall short of even a remotely good modelling of him. (As a
priest, presiding at the Eucharist, I do have the privilege of entering into an
‘enacted modelling’ of the actions of Christ that is not accountable to my
failings – but that in part is another story). I am called to model his
compassion, his tolerance, and sometimes his intolerance. I fear I do it
abysmally, and perhaps you do too, but somehow by the grace of God we stumble
on. I am called, too, to proclaim by word and more importantly by action the
hope and the love he embodies. And I am called, against all odds, especially in
today’s society (though there have been and will be far and are far worse) to
continue to hope against all empirical evidence that the empiricists are wrong
and the footsteps I am planting have already been warmed by the feet of the
Christ who goes before me – whether or not, as the hymn-writer put it, I see
them.
I will stumble on, then, knowing that the way
ahead has already been blessed by the God whose footsteps are already there.
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